Oh Come, All Ye Sleepy

In the early 2000’s my friend Deirdre and I decided to put on a Children’ s Christmas play.

We sat in Pastor Rick’s office and told him that we had some great ideas, and not to worry, because we came highly recommended…

by each other.

But, seriously, trust us!

We already had the script and next we rounded up our cast. They were a ragtag crew with little or no experience, but they were adorable, so we felt pretty confident. We had Mary and Joseph, an innkeeper, a couple shepherds, a host of angels, and some pretty wise wisemen. (They were first grade girls, but they had street smarts.)

After a few practices, our confidence began to wane. The innkeeper yawned, the shepherds wandered, and the wisemen bickered. Everyone wanted to carry the gold and nobody wanted the myrrh. Don’t even get them started on the frankincense.

The good news was that some of the cast had finally memorized their lines.

“THERE IS NO ROOM AT THE INN!” the innkeeper bellowed.

“Great job, but remember, you’re not angry about this,” I said. 

However, the host of “heavenly” angels proved to be our biggest challenge as they were often more “sleepy,” than “heavenly.” Our youngest angel often took naps in the middle of the stage.

“The line is ‘Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.’” I said. “PARKER, WAKE UP!”

We knew we had to do something to liven up this production, so Deirdre suggested getting some real animals.

“Where are you going to find real animals?” I asked.

“Don’t worry,” she said, lowering her voice. “I’ll take care of it.”

Sure enough, at the next practice, Deirdre showed up with a live goat. He bleated as he strutted around the stage. After a few minutes, he settled in next to the shepherd. This kid was a natural.

Plus, having the goat on stage gave our production an authentic feel. It’s as if we were in old town Bethlehem. 

Deirdre and I smiled at each other as we started from the top. It went perfectly…

for about 20 seconds.

That’s when the goat began to wander back and forth across the stage.

“Stay,” I commanded.

But, like most of the cast, he had no interest in taking stage direction from the likes of me. He picked up his pace as he ran across the stage, trampling over plastic baby Jesus. (Blasphemy!) 

We did our best to corral him, but he wasn’t having it. Instead, he bleated some more and then did his business, as if to say, this is what I think of your production!

Mary and Joseph giggled. The innkeeper hooted and hollered. The Angel of the Lord clapped.

Oh, now, you’re awake!

After that, the goat exited stage right, and out the door…

Deirdre chased the disgruntled cast member down the street, finally managing to wrangle him on the corner of 3rd and Flory Ave.

The next practice we attached a cotton ball headband to one of our actresses, and told her to stand next to the shepherd. Her bleats weren’t as authentic, but her bladder control was excellent, so we called it a success.

And that wasn’t the only success.

The shepherds stopped wandering, the wisemen worked out their differences, and we even ended up with a live baby Jesus.

And all the angels said…

(Well, not all. Some were still napping.)

“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men!”

Author’s note: The photo at the beginning of the story shows our “heavenly” angels.