Bloomer Bites

An ode to shopping for a Mother of the Bride Dress: One dress, two dress, red dress, blue dress, I went shopping for a new dress. This one has a big, pink bow, In this, I look like cookie dough.  This one is much too white, The bride will say, “Not alright!” This dress looks […]

Steve and I have always shared the same values. But over the last year, there has been a shift. At first, it was just a comment here, a comment there. I’d shake my head, thinking, surely he can’t be supporting THOSE GUYS! Over time, the comments became more frequent and more vocal. And then one

Parker walked in the door from dinner with a takeout box in her hand. “Oooh, what’s that?” I asked. “You can have it if you want,” she said, handing me the box. My jaw dropped because Parker is kind of like Joey on Friends. PARKER DOESN’T SHARE FOOD! “It’s a fish taco,” she said. “Thank

For my Goddaughter’s wedding, I was debating on what shoes to wear with my dress. My attire wasn’t super formal so I felt it was important I dress it up with some fancy shoes. Fancy is not how I normally describe my footwear.  “Orthopedic” is what I aim for, with a side of “sturdy.” But for

Do you remember the movie, Freaky Friday? That’s my life now. Except, instead of Steve and I switching bodies, we’ve switched lives. There was no earthquake that caused this or fortune cookie that reversed it, but trust me it happened. Steve retired this past year and now I’m the working stiff. “What are you up

In 2018, Steve and I went on vacation to Kauai with our daughter, Parker and her friend, Cass. On our last night, we enjoyed dinner on a rooftop bar, overlooking the ocean. The four of us talked about the hiking and snorkeling we had enjoyed that week. At some point, the conversation turned to marriage,

I live in California. California is full of sunshine and beautiful beaches. What it’s not full of is friendly people. Whenever I go for a run I say hello to my fellow runners. What I get in return is silence. Okay, this is the part where you say hi back. Or hello. I’d love a

In the past year, I’ve noticed a trend with a certain greeting. At first I thought the greeting was harmless, even pleasant.  But now I know better, and I’m here to tell you that strangers who call you MY FRIEND are anything but. I’m not saying they’re diabolical, but trust me, they’re about to take

After 33 years of marriage you’d think Steve and I would be used to all of our annoying habits “fun quirks.”  For example, I’ve gotten used to the fact that every time Steve sneezes, it will not be 1-3 times, like a normal person with appropriate sinuses. It will be upward of 10 times, like

After 35 years of professional work, Steve retired last week. And let me tell you, everyone is thrilled! Well, not everyone. Months ago, when Steve told me his plan, I was initially excited. “Honey, that’s great news!” I told him. “Think of all the traveling we’ll do together-” That’s when he cut me off. “Well,