After almost 37 years of marriage, the inevitable has happened… My husband, Steve, has a new love interest. I’m not completely shocked since he’s been pining after this steamy temptress for years. But what’s surprising is what she looks like. I always thought if Steve was going to leave me, it would be for a […]
Peer pressure isn’t just for teenagers anymore. There are nefarious middle-aged gangs trying to suck us into their sinister activities. The first ones that got me were the pickleballers. Suddenly, I was spending six hours a day hitting a plastic ball over a net, while sporting a “Baby Got Backhand” t-shirt. Fortunately, thanks to a
In the early 2000’s my friend Deirdre and I decided to put on a Children’ s Christmas play. We sat in Pastor Rick’s office and told him that we had some great ideas, and not to worry, because we came highly recommended… by each other. But, seriously, trust us! We already had the script and
Oh Come, All Ye Sleepy Read More »
Back in our early years of marriage, Steve always made sure we had the nicest room when we went on vacation. “If possible, we would love an ocean view,” he said to the front desk clerk, while simultaneously gazing adoringly into my eyes. She smiled at us. Aw, a young couple in love. Thirty minutes
When I was young, I spent a fair amount of time baking in the sun, while covered in oil. Think rotisserie chicken in a bikini. “You’re going to regret it someday,” my mom warned me. But as a teenager with big goals (to be the tannest in all the landest), I didn’t listen. But now,
On July 17, Steve and I headed to the airport for a long-awaited Italian vacation. “I can’t believe we’re ahead of schedule!” Steve said. I high-fived him. “We rock!” At 10 am, we arrived at the Norse Airlines ticket counter to pick up our boarding passes. Oh, you haven’t heard of Norse Airlines? It’s like
Trauma del Viaggio Read More »
So there we were at the Oxnard Hilton, in Conference Room B, sitting across from Barry. After we all shook hands, Barry looked us in the eye and said, “I just want you to know this is NOT a timeshare presentation.” Then, he edged closer to us, ready to pounce on his prey. It felt
Keep your Shirt On! Read More »
Do you remember the “horses head in the bed” scene in, The Godfather? The Corleone family did this to send a message. Last week, I needed to send a similar message. We were vacationing with two other couples and unfortunately, one of the couples was not getting along. No need to name names. All you
Many years ago, I made a deal with the bees. If I save them from drowning, they promise not to sting me. This deal was official and binding, and signed in honey. We were both keeping up our end of the bargain until a month ago. I was swimming laps at my gym, preparing for
Sometimes I forget I’m old. Fortunately, I work with first graders so they remind me of this on a regular basis. Like last week, when I was showing the class a lesson on the overhead, one student raised her hand and said, “Mrs. O, you want to know something really cool?” Absolutely! She pointed to