Suite Talkin’

Back in our early years of marriage, Steve always made sure we had the nicest room when we went on vacation. “If possible, we would love an ocean view,” he said to the front desk clerk, while simultaneously gazing adoringly into my eyes. 

She smiled at us. Aw, a young couple in love.

Thirty minutes later, we sat on the balcony, sipping chardonnay as the sun melted into the ocean. 

And on those rare occasions when the accommodations weren’t up to snuff, Steve had no problem asking for a new room. Only the best for his lovely bride. 

But after about 20 years of finagling the finest view, Steve’s enthusiasm waned. “I’m sorry, sir, but all we have is a garden view,” the man at the front desk informed us.

Steve shrugged. “Well, if that’s all you have …”

Did Steve even care?

Suddenly, we were looking at a lot more gardens and a lot less oceans. And no disrespect to daffodils, it’s just, I have a garden at home. 

More years passed and the garden views became pool views. 

“It’s like the ocean, but smaller,” the front desk girl told us, giving us a lesson on bodies of water.

Before she could hand us the keys, I said, “The pool is nice, but with all those kids, it’s a little loud.” I gave Steve a gentle kick. “Right, honey?”

“Eh,” Steve said.

Later that afternoon, I confronted him. “What happened to your sales personality and natural charm?”

Steve flopped back on the bed. “I’m retired.”

Hey, Buddy, you are NEVER retired from getting the best room!

I sat on the bed next to him. “We need to work together on this…”

“MARCO!” 

“… because I guarantee…”

“POLO!”

“… there are better rooms…”

“FISH OUT OF WATER?”

It was time to take matters into my own hands, which is what I did on a recent trip to Morro Bay. 

“If possible, we would love a bay view,” I said to Ella, the manager.

“Let me see what I can do,” she said, scanning her screen.

“We just love your hotel,” I added, flashing her my most charming smile. “Also, it’s our anniversary.”

That’s how you do it, Steve. 

Compliment + Special Occasion + Dash of Charm = Upgraded room. 

She nodded, and handed us our tiny key envelope. “Unfortunately, we don’t have any bay view rooms, however, this room has a lovely view of a nature preserve.”

But, Ella, remember how charming I was?

Steve grabbed the keys. “We love nature preserves.”

I have never once professed any adoration for a nature preserve.

At sunset, we gazed through our window at the “nature preserve,” which was in essence, a swamp. 

Who did Ella think we were? Shrek and Fiona?  

“Not too shabby,” Steve said, putting his arm around me. “And we can see the sunset shimmering on the green water.”

It’s called algae, Steve.

“I guess our days of getting the best rooms are over,” I said, sighing.

The next day Steve went out for coffee, and returned with two new room keys.

“We’re switching rooms,” he said. “But, don’t get too excited because it’s just a partial view.”

He was right. You could only catch a glimpse of the bay from our room.

However, when I craned my neck at a 90 degree angle, while Steve dangled me off the balcony …

Well, it was quite spectacular!

I guess Steve does care.