Today I made healthy vegetarian soup.
I poured low-sodium vegetable broth into my crockpot.
Next, I chopped kale, the most super of all super foods.
I cut baby carrots into tiny pieces.
(Would that make them preemie carrots?)
Zucchini and onions were sliced and diced. They joined their fellow veggies in this bounty of healthy deliciousness.
I turned my crockpot to High.
Four hours later, I removed the lid and tasted a spoonful.
Hmm.
Somewhere between inedible swill and toxic waste.
I’m not even sure Jesus could save this soup.
I threw in beans and rice.
I sipped.
Definitely leaning towards inedible swill.
The problem was there were too many veggies in this concoction.
(Sidenote: When you’re describing your meal as a concoction, it’s not good. Unless you’re a witch.)
Also, zucchini is best when fried.
Zee ya later, zucchini.
And yes, carrots are nice because of the pretty orange color.
You know what else is a pretty orange color?
Cheese.
So let’s review:
Zucchini and carrots, bye, bye.
Beans, rice, and cheese, hello!
Does anybody else have a hankering for a burrito?
I sipped my soup.
Not bad.
I just needed to replace the kale with something healthy, but a little more tasty.
Sausage seemed like the obvious choice.
This concoction was really shaping up.
But that pesky low-sodium broth, the foundation of the soup, was bringing the whole party down.
I scanned my pantry, but alas, not a high-sodium broth in sight.
The soup makers were clearly confused.
High = good.
High-energy, high-achieving, high IQ.
I scooped out the sad, salt-less liquid and replaced it with something with a tad more zip.
Thirty minutes later, my husband and I sat down to dinner.
He took a bite of his meal. “Mmm, bacon,” he said
I smiled.
Today I made soup.
Really enjoyed reading all the steps that were taken, to what was supposed to be an ultra- healthy soup.
Loved Steve’s comment which says it all “mmm bacon”
This made me smile! So clever.
Too funny! Sad, salt-less liquid 😂😂😂
Wait—Hadn’t I heard that you and Steve would each enjoy a whole bag of fresh spinach leaves every day because it was so healthy? The kale soup before the bacon must have tasted better than that?? You are both so inspiring in so many ways—I’m not kidding!! : D
Great story! My mom said she could totally relate. Me? I’ve embarrassingly never made crock pot soup but when I do, I will start with bacon! Thanks for the tip!
What, no Brussels sprouts? I love this piece and can totally relate. My family eats a “concoction” every Meatless Monday. Thanks for adding salt to my day!
January….I’m an “oldie”, but a “newbie” at this blogging stuff. This is the second blog I’ve read since my daughter , Denise, introduced me to this ~ so, does that make me a “blogger” now?
You are so clever and funny! Raised in Hawaii, I am definitely a meat eater (ask Steve), and your “healthy” vegetable concoction is so funny. Your starter, chicken broth, was a good idea, but low sodium? Yuck, tasteless….Yes, High = good! How you “manipulated” the veggies were hilarious, with the best being your obvious choice of replacement for kale, sausage, of course…what else?
Thanks for making this old gal lol (that means “laugh out loud”, not “lots of love”) right?
My apologies to my daughter and granddaughters (I won’t mention their names) for embarrassing them all!
Loved this (scary) soup story! Especially loved the “preemie carrots”!!
Definitely stealing that line! Thanks for another fun story January!
So funny and so true. As always, Laughed out loud.
Loved your soup post! I could really relate because yesterday I made a 13 bean soup mix. So I made it just like the package said. 10 cups of water and millions of beans and NO seasoning packet!! I let the crockpot simmer for hours and then tasted it. UGH no flavor what were they thinking? Like you I took matters into my own hands. Threw in a chopped onion and lots of salt and pepper. More simmer time but still needed something besides watery beans. So threw in lots of Italian seasoning and more salt. Still needed something else for my meat and potatoes type husband. Found what I needed in the freezer. A bag of fully cooked Italian meatballs!! I cut them in half and threw them in turning a lifeless healthy soup into a substantial meal for a hungry man. Also more salt and pepper. More simmering. My daughter, Chriss, stopped by bringing flowers as I had surgery on Tuesday on my facial cheek to remove a basal cell carcinoma. And she looked into the crockpot and said the soup smelled delicious!!
I served the soup with a sprinkling of parmesan cheese and my husband said it was a triumph!! He loved it and had a second bowl.
Sometimes we just have to take matters into our own hands don’t we??
Perfect meme! Lol. Veggies are definitely overrated. You’re a creative genius in both the Soup-Making Department and the Storytelling Department. I love the direction this went. Haha. Hey, I have beans, rice and cheese in my kitchen! Time to start some healthy vegetarian soup!
Everything is better with bacon! Bring on the salt!
Love this and can so relate. I always start off recipes using low sodium chicken broth. Then at the end when it’s time for tasting, the salt gets added right back in. And you are so right about kale. A long long time ago I asked myself “How healthy would I be if I added kale to my weekly shopping list and made fresh kale chips every week to have on hand to snack on?” Well, that has happened one whole time. Thank you, January, for making even mundane things like soup so much fun.