Revelations 2020: Quincey

FYI: This is not a story based on scripture and/or the end of times. It is about the unique things we’ve discovered about one another during this quarantine. Here’s what we learned about Quincey:

Quincey: (Our oldest daughter) is an investment advisor and knows a lot about high level finance and economics. However, when it comes to some very basic facts, there seems to be some gaps. I’m pretty sure she attended grades K-5, (If not, who was I walking to school?), she just chose not to retain information that didn’t interest her. 

We discovered this during a family game night when Quincey was an 8th grader. We were playing the popular board game, “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?” (No, we are not.) 

While playing that game, which subsequently led to another game, “Does This Family Need Therapy?” (Yes, we do.), we discovered Quincey had difficulty answering some very simple questions.  When asked to identify the planets she was only able to name three, and Earth wasn’t one of them. 

However, it wasn’t until recently that we realized it wasn’t just that she didn’t remember events, it was that she added information to make it more interesting.

We discovered this one Saturday morning while making blueberry muffins. This was early-quarantine when everyone was hoarding flour. Fortunately, I knew somebody who knew somebody. It was all very black-marketish but we needed flour so we kept our muffin-holes shut.

As Quincey sifted flour, Parker measured milk, and I whisked eggs, the conversation turned to what one would inevitably talk about while making muffins…

The Muffin Man! 

The one that lives on Drury Lane. 

While adding in the salt, Quincey turned to us with a pensive look and said, “I know the Muffin Man poisons people, but why?”

Baking Day just got real.

“The Muffin Man does WHAT?” I said.

“Poisons people,” she said.

Parker and I looked at each other.

What sort of sadistic nursery rhymes had this kid learned?

She leaned in closer and whispered, “Why does he poison people?”

I whispered back, “He doesn’t.”

Why were we whispering? The Muffin Man wasn’t even here.

We then spent a good 20 minutes delving into Quincey’s psyche to uncover The Muffin Man Mystery. 

Unfortunately, all we found was a tiny solar system.

We eventually convinced Quincey that No, the Muffin Man had never poisoned anyone.

In fact, his record was spotless.

Really, his only crime was pushing carbs.

But why did Quincey have an irrational Muffin Man fear in the first place?

Who knows? 

Maybe she just craved a better story.

A guy that makes some muffins and is a resident of Drury Lane.

Snooze.

But a Murderous Muffin Man!

Now, that’s a nursery rhyme for the whole family!

Well done, Quincey.

Check out midlifebloomer.com tomorrow for Steve’s revelation.