Revelations 2020: Parker

Important notice:  This is not a story based on scripture and/or the end of times. It is about the interesting things we’ve discovered about one another during this quarantine. 

Here’s what we learned about Parker:

Parker: (the youngest member of the nest) has an affiity for weeds. 

No, not weed!

WEEDS!  The cockroaches of the plant kingdom.

“Ugh,” I said one morning, as Parker and I headed down our street. “I hate all these stupid weeds.”

She peered at the stems sprouting through the asphalt. “I think they look nice.”

“Seriously?” I said.

“They’re green, they’re growing, what’s not to like?”

“They’re weeds,” I said.

Clearly, I’ve stated my case.

“They’re nature,” she countered. “They make the sidewalk more colorful.”

Well, isn’t she the eternal optimist.

I shouldn’t be surprised. Her childhood nickname was Sunshine because of her positive outlook on life. (Ironically, her sister Quincey, who found her moody and oversensitive, suggested we call her “Dark Cloud.” But that’s a story for another time.)

When we got home, I thought it would be fun to play a little prank.

I picked a bunch of weeds, put them in a vase, and set them on Parker’s dresser.

Joke’s on her!

A few hours later, when she discovered them in her room, she smiled and said, “Thanks for the flowers.”

They’re WEEDS!

That was a week ago.

The wilted mess now sits in a pool of dirty vase water.

Surely, she’ll want to be rid of them by now.

“How you liking your weeds?” I asked, passing by her room.

“Love ‘em!” she said.

This went on for several days.

Each day, the stems a little slimier, the water a little murkier.

I fear we’ve created a new ecosystem.

“I think they’re still looking great!” She said, smiling. “Thanks, Mom.”

AAAAAAAARGH!

This morning, I tossed the bio-hazard bouquet in the garbage and washed the rotten weed water down the drain.

So I guess…

Joke’s on me!

On the bright side, Parker’s future boyfriends are going to save a lot of money on flowers.

Check out tomorrow’s revelation: https://staging.midlifebloomer.com/revelations-2020-quincey/