Psst, You Want Some Candy?

Back in the 70’s, we were warned about a guy who drove around in a van, and lured unsuspecting children with candy.

As a young child, I remember having so many questions. 

Candy?

Free candy?

AND he drives a van? (8-year-old me thought vans were awesome!)

Where do I find this guy?

Recently, I was thinking about The Candyman and how he really understood the importance of marketing, free giveaways, and knowing your target audience.

As someone who is trying to market and sell her own book, I could learn a few things from this guy.

Take, for example, the Rotarian event that I spoke at last year.

I was so sure the participants were going to be thrilled when I passed out my Midlifebloomer bookmarks as a give-away.

As someone who constantly loses bookmarks, and is forced to use post-its, gum wrappers, and the broken arms of my reading glasses, I think bookmarks are downright nifty.

You know who did not find them nifty?

The Moorpark Rotarians.

They just left these treasures behind.

“You forgot your bookmarks!” I yelled, as I chased them down in the parking lot.

Those rotarians can really run.

This is why last Saturday, at a local author’s fair, I took a page right out of The Candyman’s book and arrived with a big bag of candy.

My husband, Steve, who accompanied me, doubted this strategy. He said that my middle-aged audience was not going to be that excited about chocolate.

Really, Steve? I’m middle-aged and my love for chocolate has never been stronger.

On my table, I placed a bowl of Kit-Kats, M & M’s, and the closer of all candies, Snickers!

I know “sex sells,” but I was hoping Snickers did too.

As expected, the kids were the first to make a beeline for my table. Although they were not my target demographics, I allowed them to loiter, knowing they had connections.

Sure enough, their parents and grandparents mosied over.

Normally, when people approach my table, they take one glance at my book title, “My Above Average Colon,” and flee like it’s a crime scene.

(THIS BOOK IS NOT ABOUT MY COLON!)

But this time, nobody was even looking at my book.

Instead, they locked eyes with that big bowl of rich chocolatey goodness.

My diabolical plan was working out wonderfully. 

Now that I had successfully lured them over, I needed them to indulge. I figured once they were on a nice sugar high, the endorphins would kick in, and sales would skyrocket.

I pushed the bowl towards them. “Help yourself.”

“Oh, but we shouldn’t,” they protested.

Oh, but you should.

Oh, but they didn’t.

And they all had excuses.

“I have diabetes,” replied one woman.

“You know what they say,” I said, handing her my book. “Laughter really is the best medicine…

I mean, besides, insulin.”

Others didn’t partake because they were trying to lose weight or chocolate didn’t agree with them.

I looked over at Steve, who shot me a you gotta know your audience look.

I sighed.

Next year, it will be a big bowl of Ozempic.