PAPYRU$

Yesterday, I bought a Papyrus card.

So, obviously, I can’t pay my mortgage this month.

Seriously, these cards are expensive.

I can’t give you an exact amount because there was no price on the back.

I guess these cards are “Market Price.”

Like lobster.

But without the butter.

Anybody else hungry?

Now, to be fair, the cards are beautiful.

It’s not just folder paper with some sentiment scribbled upon it.

The card is made from papyrus (hence, the name).

The material, papyrus, has been used since ancient times for record keeping and important transactions, like the sale of a donkey.

I’d love to buy a donkey, but I just spent all my shekels on a card.

And it’s not just what the card is made of, it’s what’s on it.

Many of them have beautiful flowers embossed on the front.

Based on the cost, I’m thinking these flowers are from the Garden of Eden.

Also, Papyrus cards come with a small note in the envelope.

That’s the deed to your card.

However, the deed also includes information about hummingbirds.

Maybe Papyrus is really a front for GoFundMyHummingbird.

Which I would totally support.

Unless they’re attaching actual hummingbirds to the card.

That’s not cool.

Regardless, just know that if I sent you a papyrus card…

I’m homeless now.

But you’re worth it.