Hot Topics

Steve and I were walking through our neighborhood a few weeks ago when something caught his eye.

He stopped, mesmerized.

“Wowza,” he said.

My eyes followed his gaze. Seeing the object of his affection, I sighed.

Who could blame him?

“Definitely fake,” I said.

“Nope, definitely real,” he said, unable to pull his gaze away.

He let out a low whistle. “That is a nice looking lawn.”

I nodded. “It really is.”

We both stood and stared at our neighbor’s lawn, taking it all in… the greenness, the lushness, the perfectly manicured blades.

“I can’t believe it’s not astroturf,” I said, taking a closer look.

This, of course segued into a 20-minute conversation about the properties of astroturf. 

Instead of repeating the whole conversation, I’ll just let your imagination run wild.

Two days later, Steve and I stopped at the same yard and had the same conversation. After 20 minutes of literally watching the grass grow, I sighed.

Is this what we’ve become? 

Determined to prove that we talk about more things than just the pros and cons of astroturf, I started making mental notes on what we discussed on a regular basis.

After a week of copious notes, I’m happy to report Steve and I are NOT in a rut. There is more than just lawn care that keeps our marriage sizzling.

Here our some of our hot topics:

Leafy Greens: Steve and I, who grow our own produce,* can spend hours discussing the varieties of lettuce. I love arugula. The taste, the texture, how it adds to a sandwich, but can also stand alone as a salad. Steve, however, leans towards kale.

“Kale has more antioxidants,” he reminded me.

“Arugula has more zinc,” I told him.

“Kale is a superfood.”

“Arugula is more fun to say.”

Last week, we planted herbs, and let me tell you, we both have some thoughts on dill.

Honestly, there’s just not enough hours in the day.

Blood Pressure: This isn’t so much a discussion as it is a daily competition. Mine was recently 121/69, which I couldn’t help bragging about. But then Steve, who takes his blood pressure daily, removed the blood pressure cuff and said, with a smirk, “Not as good as 115/65.” That’s when I reminded him that he takes blood pressure meds, so basically he’s cheating. Then he reminded me that the nurse had to take my blood pressure THREE times before I got a good reading. Who’s the cheater now? With voices raised, we each shouted why we were the rightful winner of “My Blood Pressure is Better Than Yours!” This game can’t be good for our blood pressure.

The Bedroom Fan: Our fan, which I have no choice but to run all night or risk falling into a heat-induced stroke as I sleep, is barely noticeable. It’s like falling asleep to the sound of a gentle breeze. Steve has a slightly different opinion. He says the fan feels and sounds like a category 5 hurricane, which is why he burrows under the covers and barricades himself with a sea of pillows. Every morning, Steve gives me a long-winded (pun intended) monologue on the all-night wind trauma that he has endured. When I mention that we could run the AC instead, he pipes down. 

Pickleball: It isn’t surprising that pickleball is a source of our daily conversation because if you’re over 50 and have working limbs, you play pickleball. Correction: You live pickleball! On the rare occasions when you’re not playing pickleball, you’re talking about pickleball: pickleball friends, pickleball accessories, pickleball classes, why the damn city won’t build more pickleball courts! It’s all pickleball, all the time! Steve recently signed up for a pickleball class. It’s like kale doesn’t even matter anymore.

Grocery Outlet (AKA “The GO”): For over a year, Steve and I snubbed this discount grocery store because it clearly catered to the riff-raff. But then recently, we discovered: Good News… we are the riff-raff! 

While, the GO originally lured us in with its low prices, (Three avocados for $5? Don’t mind if I do!) I’ve since discovered a treasure chest of hidden gems: gourmet cheeses, fancy wines, Mexican papayas as big as your head. It’s all I can talk about and now that Steve shops with me, it’s all he can talk about. “Hey, do you want to go to the GO?” he asked last night. 

It’s Friday night and I’m dressed in my grocery best, so yeah.

When we’re not having date nights at the GO, Steve and I spend hours pursuing the “Hot Buys of the Week.” 

And don’t even get us started on Gil, the store manager, who is not only full of top notch grocery banter, but he just slipped us a coupon for $5 off on our next order!

I tell ya, if that doesn’t raise the old blood pressure!

But just a normal amount.

Not too high.

Definitely lower than Steve’s.

*For more on our love of leafy greens, check out https://midlifebloomer.com/chopped/