Freaky Friday

Do you remember the movie, Freaky Friday?

That’s my life now.

Except, instead of Steve and I switching bodies, we’ve switched lives.

There was no earthquake that caused this or fortune cookie that reversed it, but trust me it happened.

Steve retired this past year and now I’m the working stiff.

“What are you up to today?” I asked him Monday morning.

“Biking in Ventura,” he said, slathering on some sunscreen.

I sighed. “That sounds like fun. I wish I was- -”

“Off to work you go,” Steve said, shooing me out the door.

When I returned from work, I discovered that not only did Steve and his buddies go bike riding, but acai bowls were involved.

“Did you get the one with peanut butter drizzled on top?” I asked.

He wiped remnants of drizzle from his upper lip. “Maybe.”

I eyed the pile of laundry on the couch. “So, I guess you didn’t have any time to put away laundry?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get to it,” he said.

Don’t worry, I’ll get to it.

That’s MY catchphrase.

On Wednesday, I flopped on the couch, next to the mound of laundry. “Hump Day, am I right?” I said.

Steve smiled.

Every day is Hump Day when you’re Steve.

“So, what did you do today?” I asked.

“Went to the grocery store, paid bills, saw my mom, went to Trader Joe’s- -”

“Isn’t Trader Joe’s the grocery store?” I asked.

Repeating the same chore, but with a different name, so it looks like you’ve accomplished more.

This guy was copying all of my tricks.

Of course, I started copying a few of his.

I was now the productive one, up early and taking on extra chores, like some sort of Helpful Honda Dealer, while someone else snoozed away.

(“Acts of Service/One-Upping Each Other” is our love language.)

Friday morning, I decided to unload the dishes before I left for work.

When Steve came down 10 minutes later, I pointed to the dishwasher. “It’s all unloaded,” I announced.

He rubbed his eyes. “I know, I heard it from upstairs. It was all CLINK! CLANK! CLUNK!” he said, imitating the sounds of pots and pans being shoved into cupboards.

Slightly ungrateful and a spot-on imitation of clinking dishware.

It’s like I was looking in a mirror.

Friday afternoon, when I came home from work, I headed straight for the couch, prepared to move the mountain of laundry so I could relax, but lo and behold, it was gone!

“The laundry’s all put away,” Steve said, gesturing to the clean couch.

Taking 5 days to do a 10-minute chore and then giving yourself props.

Man, I am annoying.

But here’s the good news… 

Just when I thought Steve and I had completely turned into each other, I received my first paycheck.

Steve’s paycheck used to fill my eyes with dollar signs.

My paycheck filled my eyes with tears.

Does anybody know where I can find that fortune cookie?