The day after my fall, I saw my doctor.
Examining my bruised and swollen ankle, he gasped, “We need to get you x-rays, and tell them you need these STAT!”
My eyes grew wide.
It was going to be just like on TV.
Nurse, get this woman a new ankle, STAT!
Ten minutes later, I hobbled enthusiastically into the lab and handed the receptionist my paperwork, “The doctor says he needs this…
(dramatic pause)
…STAT!”
The receptionist took my paperwork. “Okay, have a seat.”
I took a seat, but I didn’t get too comfy because, as I may have mentioned, my x-rays were STAT!
In the next 15 minutes, three other people were called.
“Are you x-rays stat, too?” I whispered to the woman leaving the room.
She ignored me.
I returned to the front desk. “Um, sorry to bother you, but I have x-rays that are stat,” I explained.
“We’ll get to you when we can,” she said.
THAT’S LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF STAT!
More patients were called. I caught the receptionist’s eye. “Stat,” I mouthed as a gentle reminder.
Nothing!
Forty-five stat-less minutes later, my name was finally called.
The technician led me into the room. I didn’t bother telling her that my x-rays were stat.
I did, however, ask for a lead apron since she didn’t give me one.
What sort of operation are you running, Lady?
She rolled her eyes and halfheartedly threw me an apron.
I shook my head, visibly upset.
She probably thought I was mad about being radiated.
But all I could think was, Why don’t they respect the Stat?
Check out Fracture Tales: Part 2: “The Clot,” coming out Stat (AKA tomorrow).
OH NO! January, I’m so sorry that happened. Hope you’re feeling way better. Love the humor you see in the most challenging moments.
This is inspiring me to use ‘STAT’ in my everyday vernacular- ‘I’d like a Venti Latte STAT’. I’ll let you know it goes ☺️
Knowing you, I can “see” the story in my minds eye as I read it. Love this one, makes me miss some day to day January time. I need to visit (awkward pause, cause that’s how I roll 😊) STAT!
Love your writing. -Donna
A cliffhanger!! Can’t wait until the next episode. You didn’t say if it was coming STAT or not?!
Love this!!! ❤️
Looking forward to the next one “STAT”!!
Sooo excited to hear what comes next! 👏
“That’s like the opposite of stat”! Haha. So perfect. I hate it that your misfortune is our entertainment, but thanks for a great story. Can’t wait for The Clot. That’s even more STAT than the x-rays, isn’t it?! Heal up soon, doll.
Awesome story! Thanks for the laughs, Jan!! : D
Hahahahahaha! Great story! I’m so glad your nurse is nicer than Kathy Bates in Misery 😅. Looking forward to The Clot
This is my favorite story!! When I enter in any orders as stat, my co workers get mad! They say, we are already working as fast as we can! So, I no longer use that term because it seems to take longer than if I didn’t use the term at all!
Another great story! STAT is the new word! I can’t wait to start using it at home. I will give no explanation 🙂
Sorry but laughing at your misery James Can! I REALLY needed a good 😂! Cannot wait for The Clot!💙👏👏
When I first met your Mother, I knew right away this was a quality young lady, and I probably would be discarded STAT. That was fifty-five years ago. I guess I’m not STAT after all.
Haha..this is the best! Since I work in the medical field, I too encounter that word very frequently. And I have come to recognize that sometimes “stat” means that they intentionally make you wait even a little longer. I can just picture you in that waiting room…the way you share your experiences (even painful ones) in such a humorous way speaks so much to your talent as a writer.
Yes! This is the best! I actually had a nurse tell me today they would order something stat and I started cracking up 😂