It started innocently enough: A Hibiscus here, a Geranium there.
Then came the Roses, the Lantanas, the Birds of Paradise.
Don’t even get me started on succulents!
My family thinks I may have a problem.
Sure, I spend a lot of time talking about my plants.
Or talking to my plants.
Or talking to my plants about other plants.
But I don’t have a problem.
Before heading out of town recently, I asked the kids, “So, who wants to take care of my babies?”
Wow, Parker and Colby can really move!
Quincey, now in her third trimester, wasn’t as nimble.
“I just don’t have four hours a day to spare,” she said.
She exaggerates.
It’s like 3 hours, tops.
I returned to packing.
Purse: ☑
Make-up: ☑
Bag of succulents: ☑
Yep, all normal here.
Last week was Mother’s Day and Quincey bought me the most thoughtful gift:
A subscription to a Succulent of the Month club.
This club kicks “Jelly of the Month Club’s” ass!
When my first succulent arrived, I tore open the box and discovered a petite, yet perky little guy named Dedos (Sedium Pachyphyllum, when he’s feeling formal).
“Isn’t this exciting?” I asked my husband.
His response: “Don’t you think you have enough plants?”
YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH PLANTS!
Also, I don’t have a problem.
Fortunately, there’s one person that shares my affinity for horticulture*: My mom.
Like me, she’s a plant enabler enthusiast.
Besides discussing plants, we both enjoy exploring our local nursery.
The amount of time I spend there is staggering. On more than one occasion, I’ve been mistaken as an employee…
by an employee.
Is it because I occasionally throw on an apron and lead a workshop on drought resistant foliage?
Who can say?
I think what has my family most concerned is the time I spend in my garden, not planting, not weeding, just staring.
It wasn’t long ago that my friend Kim told me how her husband loves to stand in their back yard and stare at their fruit trees. At the time, I replied, “That’s weird.”
But look at me now…
Standing in my garden, just me, a shovel, and a whole lot of plants.
Except…
I wasn’t by myself.
Right behind me, seated in a semicircle, was my family.
Well, look who’s excited about today’s home garden tour!
I dove right in, starting with the origin of the plant (Portugal), and then peppering them with some questions. “Does anybody know how much sun an Oleander needs?”
Not one hand shot up.
Tough crowd.
My family was avoiding my gaze. Instead, they were looking at one other, eyebrows raised, lips pursed, clearly uninterested in the care and growth of an Oleander.
And then I saw the pamphlets.
Parker picked up the shovel.
Are they going to bury me alive?
Tough intervention.
My husband tapped the seat next to him. “Honey, it’s time to walk away from the Portuguese plant.”
He WAS paying attention!
Also…
I may have a problem.
*The study of plants. I’m assuming you knew that, but some of my family members** didn’t.
**Quincey and Colby
Loved your story!!!!
I wish you had a story every day. 😊
I loved your Confessions story and all of them. You are an incredibly talented a funny writer with just the right amount of plants. Thanks for keeping me smiling!
I see nothing wrong with being in the garden all day!! Love the story!!
Cute story! Your stories always make me smile
Your stories always make me laugh. Keep em coming!!!
I made it into a story! Yay! Funny story Jan!! Wish I knew about the intervention. I would have joined, my husband would have been sitting next to you 😉
Loved your post January!
I am a plant lover too.
Would enjoy seeing your posts.
You don’t have a problem . . . people (me) who can’t keep a plant alive are the ones with a problem. I need you. Succulent of the Month club, like a wine club for an alcoholic. Haha. Funny and enlightening story as always, January! Thanks for the giggles.
🤣 love it!
Love this colorful story! I could use some clippings lol!!
I love Jan’s humor with how her family reacts to her love for plants.
LOL, even going so far as to give her plants names and talk to them:)
So good! I have witnessed the obsession firsthand. But my daughters and I have benefited greatly from January packing up some of her succulent babies and flying them across country to share with us on the east coast. Your stories are amazing! My favorite part was poor Quincey not being able to get away fast enough 🙂 Keep them coming.
I need your horticulture* humor at our house as we’re novices at the ways of the succulent! Great story!
*really, Q and C?? 😉
You and your family workshops! Or seminars!! 😂😂
Loved it!! This was hilarious!
So funny!!! Not only can I not wait for your next story but I want to drive up there and look at all your plants too!
Every family has at least one enabler, um, enthusiast. 🙂 I love your stories, January, and can’t wait to hear about the next family workshop.
Love this insight into the mind of a plantaholic. I would like to sit in on one of your classes! Again, hilarious writing January!
Wow, imagine my surprise when I google my own name, find your site, then realize not only is there another January Gordon, but she is a writer and a crazy plant lady just like me!! Mind blown! However, I write math textbooks, so my writing is very different from yours. 😉 I really enjoyed reading this and I look forward to seeing more of your pieces.