On our first day in Hawaii, Steve and I went to the dive shop to rent snorkel gear. While the sales girl, Molly, was ringing us up, Steve said, “I’m so excited for our surf lesson.” “I can’t wait to kayak,” I said. “Hopefully we’ll have time to paddleboard,” Steve added. Molly smiled, obviously impressed […]
My 1 ½ year-old granddaughter, Holland, toddles through our front door, squealing with delight. “Holland!” I yell, running into the entryway. Her eyes are huge with excitement. My arms are open wide. Her arms are open wide. “Holland!” I rush towards her. She gurgles with glee, arms outstretched. It is like a scene out of
Dear Wordle, My friend introduced me to you yesterday. It was love at first word. I’m hoping you feel the same way. Dear Wordle, It’s been a week and you’re all I think of. Before I even open my eyes in the morning, I whisper your name,“Wordle.” What am I doing? You’ve made it clear
Steve and I went kayaking last year. For those of you considering kayaking with your spouse, let me just say… Don’t do it! (Like a Nike ad, but the opposite) In fact, why don’t I just save you the trouble and paint you a picture of how your day will go. The arguing will begin
Too Many Cooks In The Kayak! Read More »
I was getting ready to take the train home from my friend, Chriss’s house, when suddenly, I had a hankering for an acai bowl. I began pulling out ingredients: strawberries, blueberries, almond milk, bananas. It was all going so well, until… “Chriss, where’s your peanut butter?” I asked, scouring her cupboards. Chriss peered over my
I learned about the viral word game, Wordle, from my fellow wordie, Linda. “You have to play,” she said, her face lighting up. “Everybody’s doing it.” You know how your parents always told you, if everybody’s doing it, it doesn’t mean you should. However, my feeling is, if everyone’s doing it, it’s probably pretty great.
Years ago, it was Ms. Tanya, the preschool director, who would frequently contact us about an “incident.” These incidents usually involved our then two-year-old daughter, Quincey, gnawing on a classmate. Ms. Tanya would sigh and hand us a paper titled ALL ABOUT MY DAY. Where other children’s papers told of toddler triumphs, ours read more
Play Nice (2022 Erma Bombeck Writing Competition Honorable Mention) Read More »
A tall, aggressively-beautiful woman entered the room. She took Tom’s chair. Tom took a seat in the corner. Was Tom in trouble? The woman introduced herself as Fiona (no relationship to Shrek) and gave us a bone-chilling smile. Fiona had the air of Cruella de Vil, but without the fur. Or puppies. (Sidenote: I could
The Price of Paradise: Part 2 Read More »
My husband, Steve, and I were recently involved in a hostage situation. It didn’t involve guns or terrorists. It did, however, involve intimidation tactics, guilt, and mind games. Tom, our captor, led us down a hallway to a small room. He gave us water. Sparkling water, because we were high-end hostages. Tom told us to
The Price of Paradise: Part 1 Read More »
For years I showed up at parties with my famous artichoke dip. But then I learned that cheese boards were all the rage, and thought, well, that sounds fun and easy! (Spoiler Alert: It’s not. The cheese circuit is cutthroat. And I mean that literally. Show up with an overcooked Brie, and these women will