I went for a bone density exam this week. Walking in the room, Sheila, the x-ray technician greeted me with, “Well, how are you today, my friend?” Then she told me to step on the scale. Hey, Sheila, friends don’t make friends step on the scale. When she announced my weight, I shook my head. […]
My 107-year-old dog, Dixie (who barely looks a day over 98) has become sweet and mellow in her old age. This wasn’t always the case. Once upon a time, Dixie was deemed a “Nuisance Dog” because she may have gotten into a kerfuffle or two. This led to a court appearance, which resulted in Animal
Whenever I book a flight, I always end up in Group 7. Even when I check in 24 hours ahead of time, ON THE DOT! Tappity-tappity-tap-tap-tap! (That’s me typing like a madman, hoping to beat my fellow passengers, and secure a decent boarding number.) But when my boarding pass pops up… GROUP 7! (Am I
Now Boarding (Everyone But You) Read More »
I sat, hands clammy, trying to avoid the nine pairs of eyes that were on me. I had stalled as long as possible but I couldn’t delay the inevitable any longer. “Your turn,” someone said. With the enthusiasm of a death row inmate, I made my way across the room. I picked up my bag
After 32 years of marriage, there’s not a lot of surprises. Steve and I know and expect certain things from one another. For example, Steve is an early bird. That guy is always up before the sunrise, perky and productive. Like a rooster on crack. I’m more like a bear who’s been dragged from a
At our local grocery store, I waited at the butcher counter. I waited, and waited, and waited. I rang the bell that said, “Ring For Service.” Nobody came. “Brrring!” I rang it again. Does no one respect the bell? After 10 minutes, I headed over to the deli counter and asked the ham-slicing boy to
O Butcher, Where Art Thou? Read More »
I was on the phone with Maggie, the customer service agent who was assisting me with an upcoming flight. “I’ll need your 7-digit confirmation code,” Maggie said. You got it, Maggie. BDSK512. Maybe it’s just me, but I enjoy a good confirmation code. Assigning words to letters. If that’s not fun, then I don’t know
Dazed and Konfused Read More »
I’ve heard stories of people who live in houses, and when the temperature gets too hot, a magical box turns on, and a stream of cool air fills the house and the husband and wife live happily ever after. These are called fairy tales. Yes, it’s true, we own that magical box. But whenever I
My friend Mary’s brother, Phil, recently upgraded his iPhone 4 to an iPhone 6. This guy lives large. With the upgrade came a nifty little function that his old phone didn’t include… Emojis! Phil was over the moon! Seriously, it was love at first emoji. Every text was a string of hearts, happy faces, assorted
