Bread(crumb)winner

After 35 years of professional work, Steve retired last week.

And let me tell you, everyone is thrilled!

Well, not everyone.

Months ago, when Steve told me his plan, I was initially excited. “Honey, that’s great news!” I told him. “Think of all the traveling we’ll do together-”

That’s when he cut me off. “Well, I don’t know how much time we’ll have to travel since someone will be working full-time.”

He looked at me. I looked over my shoulder. 

Who was this someone he was referring to? 

I eventually realized, by process of elimination, it was me.

“Babe,” he smiled, “I’m passing you the baton.”

But I don’t want the baton.

“It’s your turn to bring home the bacon,” he said.

That’s when I reminded Steve that with my earning potential, it would be less bacon and more bacon bits.

He shrugged. “That’s okay, it’ll be like when we were first married.”

I raised an eyebrow. I didn’t like the sound of this.

“We just won’t go out to eat. And we can cut coupons,” he said, a big smile on his face, as if he were delivering wonderful news.

I sighed.

Scissors and sad meals. Yay.

But hey, as many of my working friends (who had little sympathy for me) have said, “You’ve had a good run.”

That I have.

And, now, after a few months of interviews, I’m happy to report, I have secured a job. 

I’m officially the bread(crumb)winner of the family.

However, I did get us benefits, which is what Steve was most excited about.

Is that what “friends with benefits” means?

Also, Steve let me know that he will be the one making dinners now.

You bet I’ll be asking him if he has thought of dinner. (Read: Those Five Words)

Regardless, it’s all good, and I can’t help but be excited for Steve, who can barely contain his giddiness. For the past week, he has entered every room, as if he’s Will Ferrell in Elf, twirling with joy and announcing, “I’m in love, I’m in love, and I don’t care who knows it!” 

Just substitute ‘in love’ with ‘retired.’

(Steve just read this and would like you to know that I’m a liar and he never twirled.*)

Last night, we relaxed on the couch, after a session of coupon cutting. I leaned my head on his shoulder, and sighed. “I can’t believe we’re retired.”

He leaned over and gave me a kiss.

“Not we.”

*He twirled a little