Bong Boy

When my mom, Nina, and I walk, we generally talk about Nina’s gal pals, Barbara, Carol and Carol Jo. These are intricate tales that involve not just Barbara and the Carols, but every relative, friend, and living human associated with these gals.

I need cliff notes to follow.

Lately, however, Nina has found someone new to discuss…

Bong Boy.  

Bong Boy is a teenager who lives in Nina’s neighborhood. 

On April 14th, Nina spotted his smoke-filled Toyota from her front window.

Bong Boy, you picked the wrong house to park in front of.

Nina marched  right out there and knocked on little Cheech’s window. “Can I help you?” she asked.

That’s when Bong Boy gunned his engine and tore out of the neighborhood.

But not before Nina took a picture of his license plate.

“Then what did you do?” I asked, completely enthralled.

(sidenote: If  Nina’s gal pals stories were like this, I’d be much more intrigued.

Unfortunately, Barbara and the Carols hardly ever do bongs in their cars.)

“I walked the neighborhood until I found his car,” Nina said. “He lives two streets over, third house on the left.”

Well done, Nina Drew.

On April 25th, I got another Bong Boy update.

“He was in his car again,” Nina said.

“Outside your house?” I asked.

“No, outside his house,” she replied. “I was on a walk.”

Walk. Stakeout. Whatever.

“And you’re sure that was his car?” I asked.

“Of course. It’s a black Toyota, with a dent in the rear left door,” Nina said, rolling her eyes. “He probably crashed it when he was smoking his bong.”

Apparently, Nina is a detective AND a profiler.

On May 7th, Nina discovered new intel.

“Bong Boy has a girlfriend,” she said. “I saw her in the car with him.”

“Doing what?”

“The same thing Bong Boy was doing,” Nina said, sighing.

It wasn’t clear if she was upset because of the drug use or because now she had two perps to track.

By mid May, things were really heating up.

We had just finished lunch when Nina got a big smile on her face. “I forgot to tell you,” she said, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “I saw Bong Boy and his girlfriend yesterday,”

“In their car?”

“No, walking down the street, towards our house,” she said. 

“And?” I said.

“And… ” Nina paused. “… Bong Boy was carrying a backpack!”

Is there no limit to what Bong Boy is capable of?

“Then what happened?”

“Well, you know that fence by our backyard that leads to the hill?” Nina asked.

She stopped again, looking around. I was on the edge of my seat.

Nina really understood dramatic effect.

I leaned in. “Yeah?”

Finally, she spoke.“They jumped over the gate…”

“And…?”

“… headed up the hill…”

“And…?”

Nina looked down. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” I asked.

“I had to take your dad to physical therapy,” she said. “When I got back home, they were gone.”

I didn’t want to make Nina feel bad, but honestly, I expected better.

“I thought you were keeping tabs on Bong Boy,” I said.

That’s when Nina got a little huffy. “January, I have a lot of people to keep tabs on.”

Alvin, Bong Boy, Bong Boy’s Girlfriend. 

Then for three weeks, things went dark. Not one single sighting of Bong Boy.

In other headlines, Carol’s cousin’s mailman’s mole turned out to be benign, and Barbara’s dogwalker’s daughter did get that promotion!

Good news all around!

But what about Bong Boy? 

Hold on to your hats, folks…

Nina just called, and Bong Boy is not only alive and well, but he has just been spotted at the end of Nina’s culdesac with a NEW girlfriend! Apparently, they’re sitting under a tree and they EACH have a backpack. 

That’s two backpacks, people!

Nina says there’s more, but wants to tell me in person. Obviously, I’m on my way over right now.

Don’t worry. I’ll keep you posted.

I have a feeling Bonggate is far from over.