At our local grocery store, I waited at the butcher counter. I waited, and waited, and waited. I rang the bell that said, “Ring For Service.” Nobody came. “Brrring!” I rang it again. Does no one respect the bell? After 10 minutes, I headed over to the deli counter and asked the ham-slicing boy to […]
O Butcher, Where Art Thou? Read More »
I was on the phone with Maggie, the customer service agent who was assisting me with an upcoming flight. “I’ll need your 7-digit confirmation code,” Maggie said. You got it, Maggie. BDSK512. Maybe it’s just me, but I enjoy a good confirmation code. Assigning words to letters. If that’s not fun, then I don’t know
Dazed and Konfused Read More »
I’ve heard stories of people who live in houses, and when the temperature gets too hot, a magical box turns on, and a stream of cool air fills the house and the husband and wife live happily ever after. These are called fairy tales. Yes, it’s true, we own that magical box. But whenever I
I stare into my pantry. On the top shelf are several large bags of flour-like substances. For some reason, I have removed the contents from the original packaging and poured them into ziplock bags. I don’t remember why I did this and now I’m left wondering what each bag might contain. Every morning, it’s a
Guess That Powder! Read More »
My friend Mary’s brother, Phil, recently upgraded his iPhone 4 to an iPhone 6. This guy lives large. With the upgrade came a nifty little function that his old phone didn’t include… Emojis! Phil was over the moon! Seriously, it was love at first emoji. Every text was a string of hearts, happy faces, assorted
I experienced a miracle this past weekend. I know I’ve written about miracles before (Read: https://staging.midlifebloomer.com/miracle/), but this was legit. Remember when Moses parted the Red Sea?* Yeah, like that. Last Saturday night, I attended a country concert at SoFi Stadium in Los Angeles. The crowd was on their feet, knowing any second, lights would
Steve slammed on the brakes, and veered to the side of the road. The officer approached our window. “License and registration, “ he said. This reminded me of 24 years earlier, when we got pulled over on the way to the hospital to deliver Parker. (Just to be clear, we didn’t deliver Parker. The doctors
Hey, Batter Batter! Part 2 Read More »
Part 1: Last Sunday, I made chocolate chip cookies for a friend’s party. Mix, mix, mix. Whisk, whisk, whisk. Sample, sample, sample. Delicious! I put the first batch in the oven, and then ate a spoonful. And three more. Just to be sure. Once all the cookies were in the oven, I finished off the
Hey, Batter Batter! Read More »
Dear Midnight Organizer, I didn’t catch your name or see your face (those darn hoodies!), but I saw that you had stopped by at 4:15 this morning. The early bird catches the worm! My day started a little later, and it wasn’t until I got into my car at 8:30, that I realized I had
The Midnight Organizer Read More »
Part 1: MotherLover Although I usually prefer comedy, sometimes I write about scary things like timeshare presentations* or my kitchen cupboards** or Sandy, the swim instructor.*** Recently, I learned about a scenario so frightening, I had to write about it. Dating. You’re probably thinking, what does this lady know about dating? It’s true, the last
All the Single Ladies Read More »