Whenever I book a flight, I always end up in Group 7. Even when I check in 24 hours ahead of time, ON THE DOT! Tappity-tappity-tap-tap-tap! (That’s me typing like a madman, hoping to beat my fellow passengers, and secure a decent boarding number.) But when my boarding pass pops up… GROUP 7! (Am I […]
Now Boarding (Everyone But You) Read More »
I sat, hands clammy, trying to avoid the nine pairs of eyes that were on me. I had stalled as long as possible but I couldn’t delay the inevitable any longer. “Your turn,” someone said. With the enthusiasm of a death row inmate, I made my way across the room. I picked up my bag
After 32 years of marriage, there’s not a lot of surprises. Steve and I know and expect certain things from one another. For example, Steve is an early bird. That guy is always up before the sunrise, perky and productive. Like a rooster on crack. I’m more like a bear who’s been dragged from a
I was in line at Costco chatting with the cashier, who appeared to be in his late 20s. He was tall, dark-haired and had a killer smile. (Just to be clear, a really good smile. Not the smile of a killer.) I checked out his ring finger. No ring. Hmmm. Now, before you say, aren’t
At our local grocery store, I waited at the butcher counter. I waited, and waited, and waited. I rang the bell that said, “Ring For Service.” Nobody came. “Brrring!” I rang it again. Does no one respect the bell? After 10 minutes, I headed over to the deli counter and asked the ham-slicing boy to
O Butcher, Where Art Thou? Read More »
I was on the phone with Maggie, the customer service agent who was assisting me with an upcoming flight. “I’ll need your 7-digit confirmation code,” Maggie said. You got it, Maggie. BDSK512. Maybe it’s just me, but I enjoy a good confirmation code. Assigning words to letters. If that’s not fun, then I don’t know
Dazed and Konfused Read More »
I’ve heard stories of people who live in houses, and when the temperature gets too hot, a magical box turns on, and a stream of cool air fills the house and the husband and wife live happily ever after. These are called fairy tales. Yes, it’s true, we own that magical box. But whenever I
I stare into my pantry. On the top shelf are several large bags of flour-like substances. For some reason, I have removed the contents from the original packaging and poured them into ziplock bags. I don’t remember why I did this and now I’m left wondering what each bag might contain. Every morning, it’s a
Guess That Powder! Read More »
My friend Mary’s brother, Phil, recently upgraded his iPhone 4 to an iPhone 6. This guy lives large. With the upgrade came a nifty little function that his old phone didn’t include… Emojis! Phil was over the moon! Seriously, it was love at first emoji. Every text was a string of hearts, happy faces, assorted
