Bat S**t Crazy!

I first heard about this phenomenon from Bill*, the Target manager in Austin, Texas.

“Every night, thousands of them fly in formation at sunset,” he said. “YOU HAVE TO SEE IT!”

On Sunday night, my husband, Steve, and my daughter Parker and I arrived just after 7:00 to SEE THE BATS! As instructed, we found a front row view on the river walk, just beneath the Congress Avenue Bridge.

Over an hour until sunset, we waited.

And sweated.

It was going to be awesome!

The crowd thickened, many lining the bridge above the lake. Others squeezed in next to us.

The atmosphere in the air was filled with electricity.

And hopefully soon, bats.

“Isn’t this great?” I asked, wiping the sweat that was dripping into my eyes.

Parker fanned herself and gulped water.

The sun slipped behind a row of trees and the blue sky dimmed.

There was cheering from the onlookers above.

I hadn’t read anything about clapping for the bats, but when in Austin.

“Woo-hoo,” I yelled, enthusiastically clapping.

A little girl, standing next to me, smiled and woo-hoo’d.

Her mom, who had the air of a professor, shook her head. “Bats cannot hear the human frequency.”
I ceased my woo-hooing.

The horizon took on orange tones, signifying sunset.

“Are you excited?” I asked Steve.

“You batter believe it, “ he answered.

We all chuckled.

Who doesn’t love a good bat pun?

I turned back to face the bat show, thinking, this is going to be awesome, when I encountered something not at all awesome…

A tall guy standing directly in front of me.

How this shifty fellow snuck in, I’ll never know.

There were murmurs and applause.

“What? What’s going on?” I bobbed my head back and forth like a pinball, trying to see the excitement.

Professor Mommy pointed to her daughter, “Over there.”

Oohs and ahs echoed across the water. 

Above, the bridge people hooted and hollered.

I jumped up and down, trying to catch glimpses over Tall Guy’s shoulder, but my vertical leap wasn’t what it once was.

I turned to Steve, “Can you see anything?”

He shook his head. “Only a couple came out.”

The orange sky turned pink.

We waited.

And sweated.

Did you know Texas is hot?**

The group around us grew restless, grumbling. 

But the people on the bridge were persistent. Their hollering escalated into chants. “BATS! BATS! BATS!”

Us “below the bridge people” (would that make us trolls?) just stared up at this rowdy bunch.

The pink sky faded and the air turned grey.

No, wait, that was Tall Guy blowing cigarette smoke in my face.

The chanting from above grew, but it wasn’t just aimed at the bats. They were yelling at us.

“WHY AREN’T YOU YELLING FOR THE BATS?!” Someone screamed.

“THE BATS NEED TO HEAR YOU!” Another bat-bully hollered.

“BATS! BATS! BATS!” They chanted.

Did they think this was a concert, and if they yelled loud enough, the bats would perform an encore?

These people were some kind of crazy.***

Or maybe, they knew something I didn’t.

“Bats, bats, bats,” I softly chanted.

Then something wonderful happened…

Tall, Smoky Guy, walked away.

Suddenly, I could see the whole bridge clearly, and although only a few bats fluttered about and darkness was closing in, I knew any minute I would see, “Thousands of bats fly out from beneath the bridge, forming a surreal dark cloud as they ascend into the night.” (According to the “Visit Austin” website and Bill, from Target.)

I grabbed Steve’s hand, “This is going to be awesome!”

Five minutes passed.

Then ten.

Darkness settled over the bridge.

People sighed. Crowds thinned.

As the little girl and her mom walked away, Professor Mommy explained how bats use echolocation to navigate and find prey.

Still reciting bat facts at a time like this…What a trooper!

“Maybe we should go,” Parker said.

“They’re going to come out,” I insisted.

Then, a minute later, Steve pointed, “There they are!”

Where a light lit up the inside of the bridge, a flurry of tiny bats!

I knew “Visit Austin” and Bill from Target wouldn’t disappoint.

We peered forward, squinting, then looking at one another.

It wasn’t exactly the phenomenon we expected.

It did, however, resemble the Dateline special, where thousands of bed bugs were found scurrying and nesting on hotel mattresses.

“BED BUGS! BED BUGS! BED BUGS!”

We didn’t stick around to see if the bats (flying bed bugs?) ascended into the night.

Instead, we headed downtown for a late Happy Hour. 

Air conditioning, $5 beers, and sweet potato fries, drizzled with honey.

Now, that was awesome.

*Bill was the most helpful and kind manager ever! I promised I’d fill out a Target survey, but then lost my receipt. If you know Bill, please tell him I’m sorry.

** This is what Parker said after she had already accepted a job in Austin and then looked up Texas Weather information. 

*** Obviously, bat s**t crazy