I remember when Quincey was 17 and we went out of town for the first time. “No friends over,” I told her. Steve was quick to add. “Especially not boys.” Boys, bad. “And no loud music,” I said. “Don’t even think about having a party, Missy,” Steve folded his arms. Quincey groaned and rolled her […]
What Happens at G’Ma’s, Stays at G’Ma’s Read More »
Let me introduce you to Nina and Alvin. Nina, who is (almost) 76 and Alvin, who is 86 have been married for 56 years. I have known them for 55 of them. I am their daughter. Nina and Alvin are not their real names but when I told them I was going to write a
Nina and Alvin: Vacation Rules! Read More »
The month prior to our Alaskan vacation, Google began sending me grizzly (no pun intended) bear stories. These were not warm and fuzzy anecdotes, like Bear and Ranger Share Pot of Honey. It was more: Hiker Loses Limb After Bear Mauling. Apparently, Google thinks I have a dark side.* I shared my concerns with my
Lions and Tigers and Bears! (But Mostly Bears) Read More »
We recently learned that our friend’s daughter-in-law, Becca, gets up at the crack of dawn every morning to make her husband a delicious breakfast. Rumor has it, not only is she whipping up eggs at this ungodly hour, she’s doing it in an adorable outfit, fresh make-up, and with a cheery attitude. Diabolical. I turned
This past week, I had a dentist appointment, a gynecological exam, and today, a mammogram. I don’t need to tell you about the dentist since I’ve already written about that (See: Perfectly Respectable Chompers). In a nutshell, I made promises I couldn’t keep (flossing) and then Dr. B punished me with scary tools. The gynecological
I first heard about this phenomenon from Bill*, the Target manager in Austin, Texas. “Every night, thousands of them fly in formation at sunset,” he said. “YOU HAVE TO SEE IT!” On Sunday night, my husband, Steve, and my daughter Parker and I arrived just after 7:00 to SEE THE BATS! As instructed, we found
Our whole family is big on reviews. My daughter Quincey doesn’t so much as buy a toothbrush without making sure it has five stars. My husband, Steve, doesn’t frequent a restaurant unless it’s Yelp approved. I, on the other hand, rely on my gut. While researching a swim instructor for my 10-month-old granddaughter, Holland, my
Last month, while attempting to locate the big broom in the far corner of the garage, I found myself hurdling over a stack of cardboard boxes, climbing over a dilapidated bookshelf and lunging across Parker’s gymnastic beam to retrieve it. It’s fun playing Ninja Warrior in your own garage. But when I tripped over a
The Return of the Maximalist: Garage Edition Read More »
When I first walked into the building, ominous music played as if I were entering a horror film. Like Clarice, I could hear the lambs screaming. BAAAAHH! Wait, no, that was me. “Can I help you?” Brittany, the sales clerk, asked. It would help if I were 30 years younger and 10 pounds lighter, but
A million years ago, when we were in our 30s, my girlfriends and I started going on Girls’ Weekends. It didn’t matter where we went. The point was we were gone. A weekend away from toddlers, housework, and husbands. Three friends on an adventure. Like Thelma and Louise and Louise. But with a happier ending.
Thelma and Louise and Louise Read More »