The day after my fall, I saw my doctor. Examining my bruised and swollen ankle, he gasped, “We need to get you x-rays, and tell them you need these STAT!” My eyes grew wide. It was going to be just like on TV. Nurse, get this woman a new ankle, STAT! Ten minutes later, I […]
Fractured Tales: The Stat Read More »
Back in March, I led a workshop entitled Seminar for Sociopaths. It was wildly popular. Two out of the three participants stayed until the very end. I taught the importance of reuniting Tupperware containers with their significant lids. Nine months later, it was time for a new seminar except this time my daughter Parker would
Today I made healthy vegetarian soup. I poured low-sodium vegetable broth into my crockpot. Next, I chopped kale, the most super of all super foods. I cut baby carrots into tiny pieces. (Would that make them preemie carrots?) Zucchini and onions were sliced and diced. They joined their fellow veggies in this bounty of healthy
“My nemesis is your nemesis” has been an unwritten code since the dawn of time. My nemesis began tormenting me in early childhood and stayed with me well into high school. Fortunately, my friends equally despised this bully and stood with me in solidarity. My mom tried to convince me to give my nemesis a
She was delivered on August 24th, in the middle of our garage. Slim, dark, about 135 pounds. “She’s beautiful,” my husband Steve said, sniffling. “I can’t believe she’s ours,” I sighed. And just like that, we were the proud parents of a new Peloton. I entered my info on the bicycle’s computer screen, along with
I have a lot of obsessions: Running, Wine, Running with Wine, Succulents, The Bachelor (don’t judge me), and my most recent… WWF. No, not the World Wrestling Federation. But thank you for thinking I could compete at that level. WWF is Words With Friends. Harmless, right? Harmless like heroin. I blame my friend, Linda, who
Are You Chitin Me? Read More »
Let me introduce you to Nina and Alvin. Nina, who is 74, and Alvin, who is 84, have been married for 54 years. I have known them for 53 of them. I am their daughter. Nina and Alvin are not their real names, but when I told them I was going to write a few
Nina and Alvin: The Dynasty Read More »
When the quarantine started, I looked in the mirror and said, “Hey, YOU, this is your opportunity, YOU CAN DO IT!” When trying to motivate oneself, it’s important to speak in loud and encouraging tones. In March, I made a list of goals. Write a novel, run a marathon, make sourdough from a starter… (Haven’t
Perfectly Respectable Chompers Read More »
It was day 4 of our Mexican cruise. Just a quick run on the track, then we’d be off to sip tropical drinks on white sand beaches. There were only a few of us on the Deck 17 track: My husband, Steve, who was relaxing on a lounge chair, and Speedy, a gangly teen, who
Steve (my husband) loves a good dog. The four-legged kind that goes, “Ruff?” Yep, those too. But the dogs I’m talking about are a ¼ pound of select beef and served at your local Costco. Steve loves a Costco hotdog. Perhaps, too much. Last year, he was convinced there was fraudulent activity on his credit