80085

I was in line at Costco chatting with the cashier, who appeared to be in his late 20s.

He was tall, dark-haired and had a killer smile.

(Just to be clear, a really good smile. Not the smile of a killer.)

I checked out his ring finger.

No ring.

Hmmm.

Now, before you say, aren’t you married? 

And old? 

(Yes, and yes.)  

I was checking him out for my youngest daughter.

(People, you’ve got to keep your eyes open. It’s slim pickin’s out there!)

“I love these,” he said, scanning my bottles of Kombucha.

Good taste in probiotics. That’s a plus.

As he rang up my avocados, he smiled.

Then giggled. 

Did I just tell a joke? And then forget I told a joke?

It’s possible.

He chuckled to himself, clearly amused.

“What?” I said.

“The code for avocados is 80085,” he said.

I had no idea what he was talking about, but I just smiled because it was nice he was sharing codes with me. 

Probably because I was his future mother-in-law.

When neither myself nor the guy boxing my groceries responded, the checker repeated it again. 

More slowly this time, “8-0-0-8-5.”

“I don’t get it,” I confessed.

His face broke into an even bigger smile, like he was about to tell the best joke ever.

A good sense of humor is very important.

He looked around before announcing, “B-O-O-B-S.”

Did this guy just spell boobs?

I guess it’s good that he can spell.

Not the most challenging word, but still.

The other guy and I looked at one another.

“The 8’s are Bs and the zeros are Os and the 5 is an S,” he said. “BOOBS!”

Now, you probably think that I was offended, but, trust me, it’s going to take more than someone dropping the 8-bomb to offend me.

It was, however, confusing.

Although this humor would have killed with teenage boys, middle-aged moms don’t usually love boob jokes.

Unless they’re really funny.

Come on, Bro, know your audience.

Although I will give him credit. When he scanned the bananas, he did so without comment, and you know he had something HILARIOUS to say about that.

“$67.93,” he said, when he finished my order. 

Then he high-fived the other guy. “I can’t believe somebody put 80085 as the code!”

“Uh, huh,” Other Guy said, giving me an, I’m-sorry-this-guy-keeps-talking-about-boobs look.

“Well, you learn something new every day,” I said, taking my receipt.

I gave our handsome checker a final look and sighed.

You know, you seemed like quite a catch, but really, you’re just a big 8008.